Monday, October 07, 2019

7 October 2012

Max would like to try to hustle as well as Elbow, Archie and Mini-Rhys one day
Max: I have special sense. Not common sense. Common sense is for commoners ...
Archie: Common sense is what lets you succeed in life. It separates the superior members of our society from the common folk below. Don't worry though Max, we'll drag you along with us if you ask nicely
Max: Ah, it's an exclusive descriptor, not an inclusive one. That's cool, I can work with that. I have special sense, and it makes me of the people. That sounds good, you keep going darls, text me and tell me what it's like up there ... :p It sounds like way too much work
Archie: Well, at the moment it’s a little boring as I'm waiting for one of my plebians to send me the draft of a script she should be working on
Max: Gods, here I am, slaving away in the salt mines, sending my prayers up to the stone Gods of my forefathers to save me from my harsh mistress

Max has a #2 who just can't wait for the linear concept of time to be subverted
Actor: Too much info Bowen :P
Max: Oh. Wow. Hello ill-considered status update
Actor: A good laugh!
Max: Although I do have to say, if we are going down that path, that is a very learned and enquiring #2, right? Considering the nature of time and such ... :) How YOU doin' over in 'The Eastern States?'
Actor: Indeed! I'm loving it. In particular the Actors Centre. I need a soap box to even get started on how amazing this institution is. If you know people auditioning for waapa and nida, point them in the direction of Aca as well. It's about the training- not the brand name- right? How are you?
Max: That is fantastic, it is so nice to find a place that suits your style! I am similarly pleased to be somewhere that is teaching me something unexpected, but essential. God bless jobs that help you grow in new directions :)

Max should probably, well, talk about the weather or something

Max is with Archie: Linear time. Discuss

Max just did something with her Smart Phone. Smart Max. And again ...
Priest: This is my first weekend in possession of an iPhone. I feel like Gulliver on a Lilliputian typewriter. Impressively, the predictive text knew "Lilliputian"
Max: God we are Smart. Also, educated. Like Them
Max: How do I stop liking my own stuff for crying out loud?
Priest: I have no idea. I'm lost in Smarttown
Max: Still, we are bigger than them, so when the revolution comes, we can just step on them. Little Smarties. They won't stand a chance

Max asphyxiated her new Smart Phone today just to show it who was Boss
Max: They need SO MUCH BATTERY POWER! My carbon footprint just went through the roof. It is like a Tamagotchi, needing all my time and attention just to keep it feed, watered and not running every application, ever. I want my Stupid Phone baaaaaaaaaaaaack
Archie: And yet you can't stop referring to it. Secretly you're thrilled you've had the modern age thrust upon you
Max: I AM SUFFERING PERFORMANCE ANXIETY WITH THAT MACHINE BECAUSE I CAN'T BE COOL USING IT. I LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT USING IT. I need to calm down ...
Archie: Its not judging you... yet
Max: I feel the judging threshold is approaching very, very fast
Archie: no one will know if you still just use your phone to make calls and message people
Archie: And I'll to keep it a secret
Archie: with the amount of time you spend at the beach, yet yourself a solar charger. I'm sure you have sources
Max: Best idea ever. When I see you next, you will take off ALL the modern capabilities, and I will make it into a Stupid Phone, and supress it's real nature, oppress it, and not let it reach it's true potential
Archie: How cruel. It is a smart phone. you are supposed to nurse it and encourage it and reward it when its top of the class and buy it icecream ...
Max: You know, it's already got enough ice cream thank you. I don't want to spoil it. I think it needs a smack and an early bedtime

Max feels like Zaphod Beeblebrox right now: 'If there's anything around here more important than my ego, I want it caught and shot now!' Watch out little Smart Phone ...
Archie: I find it a little difficult to believe that you are even slightly concerned that something else would come close
Max: Well, you know, I need it to do things for me, so I am just pretending it is important so it does what I want. It can read my profile status' you know. It's a Smart Phone. It currently knows all my passwords
Archie: I shall have to teach it to upload incriminating pictures all by itself
Max: Will you take it in hand and teach it all the lovely things you do for me? Because that would be fantastic ...
Archie: what, so you no longer appreciate me? How could you!!! *sob*

‎Archie‎ to Max: muffin recipe uploaded. Use it at your peril
Max: hehehehe, world domination is one delicious, savoury step closer
Archie: *tut* *tut* such a responsibility …

Max will never replace Archie with a Smart Phone. With a Cumberbatch, maybe, but never a Smart Phone
Archie: he's mine I tell you. MINE!!!
Max: Buttons. Buttons. Buttons. All I have to do is push the buuuuuuutttttttoooooonnnnnnnssssss
Archie: you missed me! Yay!

Max may have to replace Archie with a Shakespeare. Just to prove that I didn't miss her at all
Archie: more than happy to sit back and watch as your sanity sails out the window. And it’s so nice to know that Shakeshaft will be of absolutely no help. What you needed, and still need is ME!

Max suspects her Smart Phone is simply a digital extension of Archie, sent by the Modern World to remind her of her own human frailties
Max: Ah, but which Modern God sent the sleek little Pandora is the question ...

Max still loves the weather

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