7 July 2008

Robbie's Diary

Day 17 of Orange Hair. Went to Amps, Still the prettiest.

Robbie’s Diary

Day 18. Went to Amps. My weave no longer tells a soliloquy - it has been infiltrated by the indie masses. Must find another do.

No matter - still the prettiest.

Owen to Robbie

Day 18. Owen got all shirty when I accused him of trying on my dresses. He says I have impugned his masculinity. What masculinity?

Robbie to Owen

Day 18 … evening. The dress that no longer fits over my hips fits Owen beautifully. Bell has warned he may soon attempt to usurp the prettiness.

I wish him death.

Max’s Diary

Day 18 Evening. Owen mincing around in the dress purloined from Robbie. Robbie signed into Owen's profile while he was eyeing up Frodo (Sam will kill him if he tries anything) and joined the 'Sauron Will Always Have Eye Problems If He Watches Palantir For Millennia' Facebook Group.

Have sourced new headgear, although three Rohirrim will have to die to provide the raw materials. It is for a good cause, must retain power over pretty dancing girls.

Robbie’s Diary

Day 18. The air of dissent expands exponentially. Bell is to turn wranger … now even my closest circle is trying to overtake me.

Still brown though.

Max’s Diary

Day 19. Robbie is persuaded that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and she releases her deathlike grip on me to allow me to shop for my wig.

Got to wig shop and Elrond had cleaned out all the long wigs, as he appeared to have a new dress (suspiciously similar to Owen/Robbie's dress) and needed to be darker.

Saw Elrond later at Balrog's house trying to persuade Balrog to toast him to 'Robbie Brown' to match new weave.

General Fashion Confusion.

Robbie

Hehe - for one - surely tis not imitation as NO-ONE could possibly confuse the 2 of us.

for 1. u have bosoms 
for 2. no, that's about it really 

Okay - so this spot on my chin is huge now - i want to kill myself.

Robbie’s Diary

Day 19. I think I am developing a spot on my nose. V. serious situation, as Robbie spots likely to last for two days or more.

Still prettiest, despite blasted spot.

Robbie

no NO - this blasted spot is lasting for like weeks now! it is one of those pesky ones that won’t come up properly but is stalking behind the scenes, and creating great damage as it SLOWLY tries to get to the surface in a really half arse attempt.

i have to take pictures to send to Dan re my new hair colour, and have this disgusting brown spot on my chin- which is total botching the pics … so i have taken to posing with my hand covering my chin … like i’m trying to be cute or something … BAH.

Max

It totally isn't my fault Arthur, I am just saying the usual stuff, it is just that Miss Robbie is extra suggestible and under extreme pressure at the moment. Robbie, you are going to have to join a MONASTERY to get to the monks. A monastery. Yes. That would let me indulge in my third most inappropriate weakness, religious men.

Robbie

Please - i am ALWAYS suggestible. cept now i am more aggro than usual.
Heh - u and monks/priests ... 
Max Bell - woman of the cloth.

5 July 2007

Richard Armitage called, he wants his mascara back

Cruella deVille, Lara Antipova and Tatyana Larina have been calling all day wanting their coat back

steve jobs called ... he wants his computer back ...

Noah called, he wants his rain back

Al Gore called, he wants his six star rating water saving toilet back

Ernest Hemingway called, he wants his bar back

the devil called ... he wants his velvety trousers back from your metaphor ... dry-clean only please ...

karma called ... it's on its way over to my house

Valhalla called, Karma is late for the Deities morning meeting and they were wondering if you had forgotten to take off the handcuffs?

Hitchcock was calling me all fucking weekend wanting his haunted, cold, musty, insect infected country hotel back

i called paddington bear ... i wanted to know where he got his wellies + mac ...

the sailors of the desert called ... they want their ship back!

oi, spiderman called, he wants his spidey senses back!

Shah Jahan sent his vizier down, he wants his white gold concubine out of the garden!

well well well. that’s a very nice hat you are wearing. i could mention something about the owner calling + wanting it back, but that bird has flown