Date: Thu, 31 Jul 2014
To: vf@hotmail.com
Subject: Attractive
There you are then said Hermione in a superior tone They see the Grim and die of fright
you've one private email from buddy
Click here to view email
<vf@hotmail.com>
Fri, Aug 1, 2014
to MAX
RE: Attractive
This address does not accept emails from malicious and discontent spinsters.
MAX
Fri, Aug 1, 2014
to VF
So glad you saw it was a virus!
Hi V
I was watching the emails leave my sent mail in horror, so glad you knew it was a virus - why they are using Hermione as a quote is beyond me :(
Did you enjoy the IAS lecture I saw you at?
Max
MAX
Fri, Aug 1, 2014, 4:14 PM
to person whose email I opened to get the virus
The one TOTALLY AWESOME thing that came out of the hacking
OMG, you have to see what happened from that spam email debacle!!
The girl below was super close friends with me for four weeks in 2010, then she disappeared from the face of the earth.
THEN I got the reply below to the spam ...
Now, she is either making a joke about the quote from Hermione, which wouldn't make a lot of sense ... or ...
SHE IS THROWING SHADE AT ME!!
And it delights me because I still don't know what happened for her to disappear, but obviously it is something I said about boyfriends (neither of us had one at the time, not that it mattered)
AND, she thinks she has insulted me, when she has actually complimented me. And backhand insulted herself by inferring that relationship status is something so important to her that it is open to insult.
MAX
"This address does not accept emails from malicious and discontent spinsters."
Nov 4, 2015
to VF
V - I just wanted to thank you for your excellent reply to this spam email!
The comment has gone on to become a rather fabulous story, and been used to elicit much amusement from my friends.
I have included some screenshots of its starring role in some jokes.
I hope you are having a wonderful day
Max
Sun, Nov 8, 2015
to MAX
Wel it captured the spirit of the intended receipt well, obviously. Otherwise instead it would have to be worded that this email address doesn't accept spam from discontent women who do everything within their power to break up relationships and make accusations that have far-reaching consequences.
Obviously, your actions speak louder than words ever will and the fact you've had to reply nearly a year later proves a case in point to your unhappy life. Now, do fuck off.
MAX
Sun, Nov 8, 2015
to VF
V - have you mistaken me for someone else who actually knew you?
I can't imagine how I could have so much power in your life in less than a handful of meetings and no contact in five years. You literally didn't know me at all then and don't know me since … so why all this anger?
Have you talked to someone about this displacement of your own problems onto complete strangers from the past? It seems not conducive for your own ability to stay happy or healthy.
I hope you are able to find some peace with yourself, because I cannot imagine how your response to my clearly spam email after five years of no contact, and such a quick acquaintance of almost no depth, was warranted.
Although your response was turned to good use, and I have let you know that it continues to live on, so thank you, again, for excellent material!
hacked hacked <vf@hotmail.com>
Sun, Nov 8, 2015
to MAX
Claire, the question is why are you contacting someone whom you don't know and only met a handful of times from five years ago? Very odd and quite honestly disturbing, hence the fuck off.
MAX
Nov 8, 2015
to hacked
Ah, but I didn't contact you, my love, you contacted me over a spam email.
I do have to ask though, what did I say that has such a strong hold over you after so long?
VF
Mon, Nov 9, 2015
to MAX
Re: "This address does not accept emails from malicious and discontent spinsters who attempt to subvert their palpable rage and indignation by continually harassing people they don't know. In such circumstances may one suggest online dating, perhaps?"
MAX
Mon, Nov 9, 2015, 7:53 AM
to VF
Now I think we are getting to the crux of the matter
V
This is very, very intriguing.
All I remember of our last meeting is that we discussed a man I didn't know in passing.
You presented all the pertinent details, and going on the fact that those were the details you told me (since I didn't know the dude), I put forward an opinion based on the facts you told me.
I don't remember the dude, the details or the opinion, I just know I never saw you again.
Until your reply to my spam email, I just assumed we had parted because of natural causes - I remember seeing you at UWA and saying hello because I was happy to see you.
The thing I found most intriguing about your reply to the email is that since you knew me for such a short time, and had not witnessed my life since then, your reply told me more about you than me.
You decided that you wanted to tell me the worst about myself, but you revealed what you hated most about yourself. You don't know my life now, so how could you craft a real insult?
Instead you crafted a really awesome sentence that was about you and some need you have for confession and cleansing.
Now, your replies have been REALLY clear that this is about men, partnerships and some kind of trust issues.
So, some questions:
1. Considering I didn't know the guy talked about, or any of your male friends, how did I affect them in regards to you?
2. Have I subsequently been involved with one of your male friends or partners since? If so, I did not know that they were your partner or friend.
3. If I have been involved with your partner, I can assure you that he was cheating on you, as all my partners are explicitly told I don't sleep with other women's partners unless that partner is with us.
I understand the pain of not having a monogamous male partner when you want one, I see it in my friends all the time, and I wish you well in finding what you want.
Essentially, why I loved your reply, and used it to great comic effect, is because being called a spinster is a great compliment to me, as I have always been and will alway be a spinster.
I am also non-monogamous, heteroflexible and I have a very well ordered and fulfilling sexual life that helps keep my successful writing career on track.
If the well-ordered sex life has hurt you unwittingly on my behalf I do apologise, but I try very hard to screen for cheaters.
All the best with everything going forward.
Max, spinster of the parish (it's a feature, not a bug!)
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