I’m really thinking that he is going to be too much for me. I will not have the time nor the application to rule him. He will have to rule himself in my favour, thus it is his call all the way. I am pretty much over the long-term thing, the thinking about him constantly thing.
As for keeping him anywhere near me for a significant length of time, the only thing I have going there is not chasing him.
Let’s look at this objectively:
He is good looking, charming, fast-talking, well connected and obviously wealthy.
He is an alpha male by family, brains, looks, sport, career and by being a sweet guy.
He knows it – while he is not malicious with it, he lets himself off the leash quite a bit.
He is drowning in girls, friends and strangers, and I get the distinct feeling that he is a little evil and keeps them all just far enough away that they know that he would if he could but he won’t so they hope.
He has travelled, but not worked in a corporate environment, so he is cocky, and has not yet had to toe the line, flex his muscles or get put in his place.
He reminds me of me.
So, what have I got going for me? Well, half the reason I think I am ok at the moment is that on Wednesday night I not only saw the way he operated, which I am very familiar and comfortable with, but I know that I was about as effective as him in my own way. Very effective with his class (and the Ford Racing Team pickup was rather good too Bell, well done), perhaps less effective than him in the social arena. But then, I don’t intend to make that the battleground.
No, the battleground will be carefully negotiated by my good self each time he contacts me. And he only gets one reply to each sally, I will not be building on anything. He has to do the building, the sallying, the contacting, he has to make the calls. And I am ok with that because, in the end, I know that I cannot afford to watch him next year.
Thing is, I am not staying single for him, not on your life! Especially because I need to keep the physical feelings in their place.
The aim? Well, to be perfectly honest I want to be the girl he can’t beat, the girl he can’t make dance, the girl who walks away from him in her own time, the girl for whom he is one of many applicants. *heh*
There are a few other aims as well – I want to get his shirt off, I want a snog, I want an admission that he likes me, I want my fingers behind his belt buckle and I want him to have to beg for it.
I won’t be running after him. A Bell has better things to do with her time!
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