11 November 2005

M

Hey there. Here we go.

Your quick-she's-back-let's-get-her-hitched story gave me a chuckle.

a) because I'm distanced from it and
b) cos I know you'll be able to handle it, even if you're finding it difficult at times.

Those new guys sound pretty nice. I'm waiting for more info, when you're ready to tell me.

I've been going close to my limits most days recently. Work-wise, business-wise and personally. I've been doing daily goal setting and as such I'm seeing continual improvement just happen, almost by magic.

On the weekend I went to a painting and tarot workshop. I found it interesting. (who'd have thought *I'd* say that hey?) Basically we pulled a tarot card and that was our theme. We then started fingerpainting on huge 2x2 meter pages and then used those paintings to see what comes up.

[excised for privacy purposes]

Jesus! 11 massive paragraphs about women. Not how I intended this email, but the raw truth of what's going on in me *right now*.

I'm also seeing my businesses grow. More on that later - I have a singing lesson to go to, and a teacher to convert into a friend.

MAX

That was a bit epic, but I think you know what you are doing.

To me, she sounds Great, and Great is wonderful as long as you don't hurt Great when Perfect comes along. Great is the kind of person you want to make sure you look after, be very truthful with and Great is the partner you want to treat with the utmost respect when you leave her, because Great can also be the kind of ex-Great that you can be proud of.

As soon as you are treating her as less than Great you leave her because she is also the kind of person you don't want to mistreat, it is bad karma. If you start treating Great people badly, it can lead to nasty habits etc.

So I reckon bear those three things in mind, treat her well while you have her, treat her VERY well when you leave and leave as soon as you know you are not treating her as you should. Hopefully, when you find Perfect you will never need to keep those three things in mind!

And why am I saying THIS instead of the myriad of things I could say? Because I met my first ever boyfriend (before my best boyfriend, you would have met him at my Halloween Party) for lunch on Tuesday and was forcefully reminded that I have only gone out with men that I can be very proud of, that he and I are utterly perfect for each other bar the sexual chemistry, and that two of my three were Great in intellect and personality but only one of my three was Great in love. Thank god I treated them all as outlined above eh? While mistakes were made, at least I came out of it with three ex-Greats.

I wonder if the next Great will be along soon, or if it will be my Perfect.

And as for your questions about HOW, well, let's just agree that we will never know, all we can do is hope and treat everyone in the manner that you would like to effortlessly treat your Perfect, because then you will not miss your Perfect when she comes along.

M

Very true.

Your point about treating them as you should, or as with Perfect you will automatically do, rang loudly for me … and then you've also added to it. About doing things effortlessly, I'd been thinking that, but saw that seeing as that wasn't the case, it was an indication that she wasn't Perfect, therefore bad. You've given me words that changed this from a bad thing to a good thing. Nice work Bell.

Oh and I spoke with my singing teacher, and told her I'd be better with her as a friend, and she's ok with that. In fact it made things easier between us - probably tantamount to how we were both unconsciously putting pressure on ourselves with a relationship.

Sex, lust, romance, love. Such big things that affect us deeply to our core of who we are - and come from our core ...