4 November 2011

Games Night! SCANTILY CLAD YOUNG MEN UPDATE

MAX TO HOST, JAY, OTHER PLAYERS, MVP OF THE DAY

Good afternoon Ladies

I am looking forward to the cigar-and-whisky-soaked promise of Saturday, but I was wondering if Stevo had been invited?

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/my-self-portrait

Because he exists!

MVP OF THE DAY TO MAX, HOST

Max

My friend, I have a rather worrying update on the Stevo front.

Stevo is now on the Interpol most wanted list after trying to pass himself off as Max Middleton (Ma'am) at a charity function at the Mayfair Hotel, London, last week. I believe there was a rather nasty incident with a tray of canapés which resulted in Stevo slipping, falling over a rather elderly lady (I can confirm not the Queen, God bless her) and unveiling his manhood in front of the gathered crowd. As you can imagine panic ensued.

As far as I can ascertain from my sources he is now in hiding and racing across the continents, at an alarming rate, in various guises such as Louis XIV, Albert Einstein, Aphrodite, Benny Hill. The flaw in his plan to date would appear to be that all these people are dead and the powdered wig of Louis my attract some negative attention in inner-city Bangalore.

However, intelligence suggests that Stevo is attempting to return to his birthplace and may appear in disguise at the forthcoming cards evening.  We must be on our guard for imposters.

As ever your Semper Vigilo friend.

HOST TO MVP OF THE DAY, MAX

snicker

HOST TO MVP OF THE DAY, MAX

Ok don't get too excited girls but there may be an actual man in the house on Saturday night.
My friend Ken just told me he is coming to town and naturally will be staying with me.
He is a poker fan and I have told him he can play with us ... I haven't broken it to him yet that he will be playing the role of half-naked man-servant / scantily-clad arm-candy ... but I'm sure he'll oblige, if only for a moment or two.
Now I haven't told anyone else yet and I'm not even sure he'll be there, he may decide to go elsewhere on his days off.
Anyway, something to think about ...

MAX TO HOST, MVP OF THE DAY, JAY

Thank you for your timely report on the fugitive, Ms Valuable. I appreciate the time and effort that went into putting together the brief on such a nefarious man.

The International Intelligence Community (don't laugh, it exists) have noticed some rather interesting items going missing in a trail leading across continents straight towards Kalgoorlie.

In Normandy, some of the best Camembert producers have noted that the best wheels of this most delicious of cheeses have rolled straight out of storehouses across the region. They are resigned to the loss of the cheese but would love to know how the perpetrator got past their famous Guard Geese.

In Austria, the Vienna Opera House would like to confirm how a brace of their best plush red velvet couches was spirited out of their foyer WHILE it was chock-full of the glitterati of Vienna fundraising to combat Poverty in Africa. Some patrons admitted they saw the couches disappear out windows with no visible support, but thought it was an artistic flourish by the organisers.

Various very irate men with Middle Eastern accents have been contacting everyone they can get a phone number for in the International Community to complain about a beautiful woman travelling through the Middle East on a motorised clamshell, using only her long golden hair to cover her nakedness. These gentlemen (they are no longer contactable to provide more details seeing as they are mostly dead or in court) have claimed that the extraordinary beauty of the lady concerned has driven the men of their country to revolt against their rule. Our informants call her The Western Devil, the men of their country call her The Arab Spring – apparently she is also collecting baklava and samovars from every man that declares eternal allegiance to her.

The Indians are COMPLETELY unimpressed with a small, energetic Englishman racing around their country chasing their women and claiming that the British Raj was the best era India ever saw. They have literally kicked him off the continent, but are demanding the return of the 100 camels he managed to smuggle into the pockets of his capacious Tweed Jacket before they got rid of him.

So we are looking out for Stevo and a caravan of the sub-continents best camels carrying some really lovely couches, wheels of delicious cheese, the best Turkish coffee and tea brewed for just the right amount of time and baklava that will make you cry with happiness. We expect him to parachute into Kalgoorlie with his loot sometime around 2pm on Saturday, using the arrival of the Prospector to cover the sudden influx of goods and animals from the authorities.

Our best officer, Agent Ken, is monitoring the situation, but for our part, we must be aware (not alert, there are too many lerts around …)

HOST TO MAX, MVP OF THE DAY

bahahahahaa