29 October 2004

TO CHE

Right, so I have a goddamn love affair totally not happening and so I am going to keep you up to date ...

After declaring in my morning email to Sister that, and I quote,

“You should see what I do to Teddy’s that displease me ...

*riiiiiiiiip* (actually, probably won't happen because I possibly don't care enough)”

I decided that his rudeness would not go unnoticed. So I sent this ...

Just because I hate not knowing what is going on with outstanding invitations …

Please just select an answer for your reply!

1.
Thanks for the invite, I would like further invites when applicable and I will let you know if I am coming.

2.
Thanks for the invite, how about I let you know if I want to come on a Tuesday in the future.

3.
Thanks for the invite but it is not really my cuppa.

4.
Please stop emailing me!

5.
Who are you again?

6
Did you know that 42 is the answer to life, the universe and everything and the amount of time it would take for an object to travel from one side of the earth to the other via a theoretical hole through the centre?

7.
The world is made up of five basic building blocks known as up, down, sideways, sex appeal and peppermint.

Cheers mate

Claire

And my sad-arse reaction to his reply (for prosperity his answer was to chose 2, 6 and 7) to this self-same email?

TO A SISTER

As a Freudian, I feel impelled to inform you that dreams are the conscious manifestation of subconscious desires! Embrace those desires girl! Did I not, this very afternoon, bare witness to the harnessing and directing of desires to get what I wanted? Though I bet most of his haste to email me was because you were there - we are a great team!

Oh, and the funniest thing about me protesting that I loved him not was my reaction to the email from him! As soon as I got it I started humming and I hummed, sung and danced all afternoon. Then I went boot shopping, I got a makeup pampering at Benefit AND Elizabeth Arden and then tried on cute pink jumpers at Laura Ashley.

I wear light powder, eyeliner, mascara and lip balm on any normal day. Today I had two eyeshadows, three moisturisers, two blushes and all kinds of muck on and I felt so GIRLIE! :)

I have never even WANTED to go into Laura Ashley in my life, let alone contemplated buying two tops from there!

I try not to sing and dance in front of workmates but I did both.

M told me that I should not stick that coathanger up my nose again or else the self-administered lobotomy may take out something important!

I don't know what is wrong with me. Oh, and the new Yves St Laurent perfume, Cinema, is fabulous darhlink ... raaaahhhh!

A toast to men and their ability to make us lose our cool.