21 October 2006

Our Own Correspondent - how extraordinary, all I can do is read about Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan and you are closer to him than most of the reporters telling me what to think. Stroppy, yoga-starved show pony companions aside, you are there, right in the middle of the world where things happen - I hope you are enjoying it in all its splendour.

I am in the middle of splendour at the moment. Today was 30 degrees and it was such a beautiful day. After work, I lay on James Oval from 5 to 6 just relaxing into the grass and watching the sunset behind Reid Library. The air sat on my skin like a hug, and I felt the working week seep out of my muscles through the soles of my green sandals.

It's half past midnight now and I am standing on my balcony watching the sky behind the city. There is a storm coming in from the coast and the lightning is golden and frequent and it looks like there is a war happening in Fremantle, the bombing yet to reach up the river. The wind is warm and holds the smell of the mango I had for dessert and the vanilla candles in my house on its stillness. On the verandah, I can smell the cool of the rain heading up towards me.

Apart from the weather, life is hurtling along at a frantic pace, it is the business end of my semester both at work and in my study - I am writing essays while organising thesis marking and postgraduate administration and trying to keep my thoughts in order about the boy.

I have not seen him this week, although his two best friends have been keeping an eye on me - both Kelly and Dean have been in each day instead of the usual once a month. They talk for ages with me, as opposed to not at all. And each time they chat away to me, Painful Love Affair comes into the conversation. Today as the day ended and I realised that he really wasn't coming in to see me, I thought I was going to cry for missing him.

I am much better now - I have essays to concentrate on during the weekend and I have not thought about him with the accompanying abject physical and mental pain for at least four hours, which is pretty good going at this stage of my predicament. Hopefully, I will get under more control soon.

Forward, always forward!