Max is an awesome cousin: she arrives with sparkles and allows kids to eat three squares of chocolate, two Kingstons and about a million walnuts before bed
Audes: ahhh, just leave the parents to deal with that midnight tummy ache eh?
Max: It was a miracle she went to bed after being allowed to stay up with me and eat that much. But that’s me I guess, boring small children to sleep, despite the sugar rush. I hope there is no midnight tummy ache!
A: Hahaha, boring them to sleep. Never!
M: Actually, I am more of a threat - go to bed or Max will try and argue that your Barbies need to Unite against the Patriarchy that refused to manufacture them so they fit into a standard Tonka Truck Cab …
A: They do have ridiculously long legs … Oli has a baby doll and I don’t like it (not BabyDoll who I made a dress for, she’s okay, another baby doll that is freaky because it is REAL looking and when I catch sight of its creepy arms and legs in her toy drawer I get a fright), so I can’t imagine I’m going to buy her Barbie
M: hahahaha, creepy, CREEPY life-like dolls … worse than creepy, CREEPY not life-like dolls! But then, I don’t really like dolls at all. I was brought a Barbie, which was EXPENSIVE back then. She had a Princess dress and everything. I kept her naked under the cupboard and chewed her feet off until I got to the wire that makes those stupid legs bend. B’ah, dolls …
A: THAT is freaky! You CHEWED HER FEET OFF?????
M: Yeah. But she fit into the Cab of the Tonka Truck with that small modification … she loves driving trucks Audes, LOVES IT! :)
A: Pffft. How the hell did she reach the pedals?
M: I spot welded the leg wire to the pedals. She LOVES driving trucks …
A: Poor Barbie. You really weren’t lying that you don’t like dolls.
M: I was hell to entertain until I could read … then everything was FINE! I stopped torturing small and unrealistic representations of women and began to do real things, like read Fantasy and make stories up! :)
A: Phew! I had this idea that you were chewing up Barbie at age 9 …
M: hehehe, n’ah, maybe 4 or 5? Well, that is what I think. Mum may have to be consulted. Maybe it WAS when I was 9, and I am just suppressing my psychopathic tendencies …
A: I hope not. I’m going to watch my feet around you from now on.
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