Thursday, September 12, 2019

12 September 2006

Robbie (outlining Max’s favourites, with notes from Max)

Movie: Something with charming Nazi war criminals … and abled bodied Jews
(check)
TV show: Buffy the "are we really supposed to believe she can actually kick arse" Vampire Slayer
(Firefly, same man at the helm, brunettes are better)
Fictional character: hetero Xena … slutty Robbie … or 'no movies' Ash
(BRILLIANT, yes!)
'Ship: oh - she knows this one - that crazy american man blowtorching pretty young japanese girl
(you are a cruel woman, the real favourite 'ship is the one we do not mention lest Max never be allowed near adolescent boys again)
Band: something by some crazy DJ no-one listens to, that only plays at 3am at Bar Open, or at the Hyde Park Hotel
(checkish, David Holmes, who is a DJ)
Song: I'm a little teapot
(oh, that has SO many different ways I could make that good and bad)
Book: English for Dummies
(heeeee, actually The Age of Innocence)
Author: anyone who writes about vampires ...
(I have a funny story about that one, Charlotte Bronte)
Colour: Navy Blue
('orrible creature you are, black)
Animal: woodpecker - as Max likes both components of the word …
(check, laughed until I cried, in a pinch a penguin, albatross or pelican)
Food: herself - being food for a vampire
(yes! *swoon*)
Snack: Domino's meatball pizza with 3 cheese stuffed crust
(see Vampire)
Beverage: iced tea … with a shot of bourbon
(and grumpy hungover Max in the morning, Fanta)
Store: crap if I know - something with bits of fluff in it.
(not sure the Victoria & Albert Museum Shop would APPRECIATE the description, but they do have fluffy stuff in there somewhere)
Vacation spot: Any place with tall, buff, black men … short Hispanic/Mexican men … or … men ...
(so, so, so, SO true I couldn't get any sound out when I laughed)

Robbie, a masterful combination of truth and fiction!

Xena

robbie i laughed so hard i wet my pants.
there is so much truth in that little profile though :P
fave vacation spot … i would of thought Max would rather enjoy the literary wealth on the isle of lesbos *wink*

Ash

That was brilliant … and do you need a luggage carrier when you go to your vacation spot … I promise I won’t make a sound … *does best impression of Max’s bambi eyes*

What am I thinking … Max wouldn’t bring any luggage to a vacation spot like that … sorry momentary lapse in concentration Xena’s little fictional tale still playing havoc with my mind ...

Max

So, not dividing the banter from the truth, I am a raging bisexual international predator with a penchant for meat in ALL forms, obscure bands, violent sexual practices and alcohol.

8-\

Woah, and on Sunday I was reading my diary from Year 12 in which two pages were devoted to my personal reflections on the speeches for Head Girl ...

FOR WHICH I WAS A NOMINEE I REMIND YOU ALL, AND WAS SUBSEQUENTLY LITURGY PREFECT, SO HOW DID I GET TO THE SENTENCE ABOVE IN ONLY SEVEN YEARS?

*catholic schoolgirls ARE a lot more fun out of the convent aren't they?*

/-)

oi, Xena, stop winking at me when you are publishing such plot-what-plot smut for our reading pleasure. Me visiting the Greek Islands next year to see my 'wifey' get married is far more conventional than it sounds!

Ash, stop leaking my seduction tips to all and sundry or I will be making you bowl every day so you have to go to your CHIRO forever to suffer erotic purgatory! ah-HA.

Robbie, that list is yours to keep VERY silent and secret now y'hear ...

luv youse all, who else would I admit my penchant for the 'Dummies' series to I ask?

[during this exchange of emails, another email was sent to all by Xena - an amusing soft porn story about catching up with a much loved and queer mutual friend from high school]

Robbie

oh, sweet JEBUS!  I almost believed u!!!! Gave me a slightly more than mild coronary- I think stuff idol - your true talent lies in writing soft porn ...

May i just say that i shall never be able to look 'dear sweet xena' in the face again ... or anywhere else for that matter.

Max

While certainly uncomfortable to read if it had been true, it is still an amusing thing to read as a window into the romantic corners of Xena's mind. Cartons of VB? Really? Xena!

/-)

Ash

Oh dear lord....!!!

I feel the need to wash my imagination out with industrial strength cleaning products ...

I feel I need a shower to cleanse myself of the horror … Ash walks off shuddering & feeling slightly dirty...

Xena

first and foremost … i would like to apologise.
a) for staining ash’s mind forever.
b) for possibly giving robbie a little too much excitement for her little heart.
c) for the cartons of VB.

admittedly i did have a fun writing that though ... *sigh* i've read WAY too much Alt FanFic about vamp willow and tara.

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