Max: Oh my. We could go back to Milk the Cow Carlton and make our own ... they would have great cheese to put in ...
Tina: YES! Today?
Max: Hahahaha - babe, I say, babe. Alas not today. But let's get a gang together ...
Tina: A CHEESE GANG
Tina: And then we can write about the experience and be a CHEESE-PRESS GANG
Max: That bun is so cheesy
Tina: I have a fettash for bad puns
Max: You are brie to stop the puns whenever you cheese, though ...
Tina: That one was a bit stilton
Max: It's just idle cheddar
Tina: Loch Arthur Farmhouse talk?
Max: are you changing the pun-run rules darls, because I can see holes in that latest offering ...
Tina: I'm making stuff up on a Tilly Whim
Max: I reggiano to inform you that changing the pun-pong rules is a parmigiano offence ...
Sunday, December 08, 2019
8 December 2012
2012 Max likes it when people work while she is sleeping
OMG I have totally just realised this status works for both home and work sleeping habits
2012 Max couldl represenete Ausdtralia in teh slep Olympisc righte now
Elbow: Well sleep for me whilst I work. Till 2am. After 4 hours sleep. Hangover
Max: I will. I totally, totally will. Lots of sleeping. While you are working
2012 Max has be Pitch-slapped. Rebel Wilson and Elizabeth Banks have made me reconsider my Not Keen On Blondes stance
*been, even. God, I am tired
2012 Max loves other people going to themed costume parties; making suggestions but not having to source the actual materials or do the labour is my favourite thing in the world
SUCCESSFUL COSTUME!!! The Hard Hat brought all the Men to the Yard ...
Jay: All the sleazy men
2012 Max loves her high heels. But how abused her feet, legs and core muscles feel at the moment due to the aforementioned heels? Not so much
2012 Max has the most terrible wig-hair after committing to a twelve-hour Christmas Party, with dancing. Good hustle girls!
I am glad I am not the only one up at an inappropriately early time after such a party
Workmate 1: Hahaha tell me about it!!
Max: WHY ARE WE AWAKE NOW? Why am I not sleeping in until 1pm? Do I need another party? Thinking? I am not thinking! I am trying to work out why the hell I am not asleep still
Workmate 2: Max outlasted us all!! I'm impressed Bell! Well done! And sweet moves on the d-floor - great night all round I think!!
Workmate 3: What time did guys stay till?? Haha I was smashed lol
Max: Workmate 2, I have to admit I only outlasted you and Workmate 1 by about, oooh, ten minutes, I was out by 2pm on the dot - the dancefloor was cold after you girls left. Workmate 3, you were, like, totally under control, really! :)
2012 Max and Elbow are members of a silly household; late night, no commitments, awake too early. Why would we do that?
Granted her house is so great for an Inappropriately Awake Beaching Appointment, so, not so silly
OMG I have totally just realised this status works for both home and work sleeping habits
2012 Max couldl represenete Ausdtralia in teh slep Olympisc righte now
Elbow: Well sleep for me whilst I work. Till 2am. After 4 hours sleep. Hangover
Max: I will. I totally, totally will. Lots of sleeping. While you are working
2012 Max has be Pitch-slapped. Rebel Wilson and Elizabeth Banks have made me reconsider my Not Keen On Blondes stance
*been, even. God, I am tired
2012 Max loves other people going to themed costume parties; making suggestions but not having to source the actual materials or do the labour is my favourite thing in the world
SUCCESSFUL COSTUME!!! The Hard Hat brought all the Men to the Yard ...
Jay: All the sleazy men
2012 Max loves her high heels. But how abused her feet, legs and core muscles feel at the moment due to the aforementioned heels? Not so much
2012 Max has the most terrible wig-hair after committing to a twelve-hour Christmas Party, with dancing. Good hustle girls!
I am glad I am not the only one up at an inappropriately early time after such a party
Workmate 1: Hahaha tell me about it!!
Max: WHY ARE WE AWAKE NOW? Why am I not sleeping in until 1pm? Do I need another party? Thinking? I am not thinking! I am trying to work out why the hell I am not asleep still
Workmate 2: Max outlasted us all!! I'm impressed Bell! Well done! And sweet moves on the d-floor - great night all round I think!!
Workmate 3: What time did guys stay till?? Haha I was smashed lol
Max: Workmate 2, I have to admit I only outlasted you and Workmate 1 by about, oooh, ten minutes, I was out by 2pm on the dot - the dancefloor was cold after you girls left. Workmate 3, you were, like, totally under control, really! :)
2012 Max and Elbow are members of a silly household; late night, no commitments, awake too early. Why would we do that?
Granted her house is so great for an Inappropriately Awake Beaching Appointment, so, not so silly
8 December 2008
ARCHIE
I have a question for you. your wedding... small private affair, or friends and family gathering - wedding sprung on the guests at the last moment? Also, Church or not church?
MAX
eeeeeeeeee, I don't know
I think Miss Bailey would have a tiny, tiny church ceremony for her grandparents, aunts and uncles, parents and adult family friends, and then a more expansive picnic and trivia afternoon reception with friends and cousins. Trivia quiz gives answers what must be found in the treasure hunt sending groups of four off into the house looking for references to art, books and cooking utensils in the house and flowers, bugs and rocks in the garden
ARCHIE
Ok. Otherwise i was thinking that it occurs one sunday after church at the usual gathering at the Manor. No-one knows except about four people who are needed to organise parts of it. Shall I get Grandmama to host the picnic at the Manor. So, will you be doing anything considered outrageous in a single woman between the intimate ceremony and the picnic, just to scandalise those old ladies who used to tut at you all the time?
MAX
Heee, I like that. She would limit the Church Ceremony to those that tut, just to toe the line, and then the reception for all those who are interested in what she thinks - but the trivia quiz will be all about unfashionable questions like suffragettes and class and race etc, and the treasure hunt would hinge on a collection of books, paintings and ideas those who are not welcome in the political sphere to become active - women, working-class, natives etc. And I think she should have her first opinion piece on politics published in the newspaper the Sunday she gets married - imagine, her ideas in print!
ARCHIE
I was thinking have the intimate church ceremony, then the next day, after church at the usual gathering doing something as simple as kissing Freddy in public with gloves on. you'd have to have the picnic that afternoon. Remember, many of the paintings at the Manor are either of or by the family. The library, however, is extensive
MAX
*sigh* ok :) Kissing Freddy hey? That sounds like fun. I will be up for that
I have a question for you. your wedding... small private affair, or friends and family gathering - wedding sprung on the guests at the last moment? Also, Church or not church?
MAX
eeeeeeeeee, I don't know
I think Miss Bailey would have a tiny, tiny church ceremony for her grandparents, aunts and uncles, parents and adult family friends, and then a more expansive picnic and trivia afternoon reception with friends and cousins. Trivia quiz gives answers what must be found in the treasure hunt sending groups of four off into the house looking for references to art, books and cooking utensils in the house and flowers, bugs and rocks in the garden
ARCHIE
Ok. Otherwise i was thinking that it occurs one sunday after church at the usual gathering at the Manor. No-one knows except about four people who are needed to organise parts of it. Shall I get Grandmama to host the picnic at the Manor. So, will you be doing anything considered outrageous in a single woman between the intimate ceremony and the picnic, just to scandalise those old ladies who used to tut at you all the time?
MAX
Heee, I like that. She would limit the Church Ceremony to those that tut, just to toe the line, and then the reception for all those who are interested in what she thinks - but the trivia quiz will be all about unfashionable questions like suffragettes and class and race etc, and the treasure hunt would hinge on a collection of books, paintings and ideas those who are not welcome in the political sphere to become active - women, working-class, natives etc. And I think she should have her first opinion piece on politics published in the newspaper the Sunday she gets married - imagine, her ideas in print!
ARCHIE
I was thinking have the intimate church ceremony, then the next day, after church at the usual gathering doing something as simple as kissing Freddy in public with gloves on. you'd have to have the picnic that afternoon. Remember, many of the paintings at the Manor are either of or by the family. The library, however, is extensive
MAX
*sigh* ok :) Kissing Freddy hey? That sounds like fun. I will be up for that
Friday, December 06, 2019
6 December 2013
MAX
To the extended Bell family
Mum and Godmother have been good enough to preserve and share Nan's thoughts on political and social reform.
I am grateful that they did this because it allowed me to see that the women who have inspired me in life have always been the soul of the age that resulted in my own social and political environment.
So I thought I would share the intersections of Nan's thoughts with the thinking of the women of my generation who are intent on social and political reform.
To me
:-)
MAX
To Godmother
*hugs* thanks, it was REALLY nice to read how clear things were for women back in the day - it is very encouraging for me, trying to be as clear today about equality :)
FUtE
To the extended Bell family
Hi Max
I was up at the farm and unable to successfully respond to this. I also tried to blog on insanelysociable but at the point at which they asked me to start creating a profile I got to the "... fuck this I have got to much to do and this screen is too small and my eyes are ... etc etc ... but I tried so that is good Huh? Mind you I was digging ditches so anything was preferable.
Very interesting to see Mum in action from years ago. Makes you realise how capable she was/is so a good illustration of why one needs to engage with the issues of the day and stay engaged. The psychological and philosophical benefits on their own are worth it and the physical ones tend to follow.
I think I would disagree with one contention and that is that feminism was beginning with Mum's generation. I suspect it was a generation or two prior to that that formal feminism was kicking in (Emily Pankhurst etc). I suspect that Mum's feminism really reflects "practical feminism" rather than ideological feminism at a time when a significant proportion of the population had experience of 2 world wars and the Great Depression. They were pretty tough and very pragmatic and you see that in Mum's response. Their ideological world was constrained to some degree by the contingencies of making a living. Their opposition the "feminism", as feminists of my wife and my generation experienced, was probably because they saw our feminism as being a very privileged form of feminism.
When I was in Swaziland, in the mid 80's, I saw in TIME magazine (September 1985) an article on the 3rd UN Conference on Women in Nairobi. The group shot had a large number of western women with all the trappings of privilege in the way of cameras etc (sorry kids mobiles, laptops and tablets didn't exist then so they were all looking at the photographer and not the palm of their hands!). In the foreground where two Maasai women sitting very formally. The article was asking what the women wanted. The majority wanted rights of equality and political representation whilst the Maasai women wanted access to clean water. Quite sobering and a stark contrast. I was acutely aware of this need because I was seeing it all around me where I was living and it gave some perspective to the overall agenda.
I think Mum's generation were very concerned with efficiencies. They had large families and relatively lower level social safety nets. They had a great deal of pride and stoicism was expected. They got on with it and hoped they could cope. Mum told me the other day that she thought she used to get depressed but "..there was nothing you could do about it" I suspect my generation of feminists were simply seen as a little self-indulgent.
I suspect that this is always going to be the case as each new generation engages with the issues. So well done for giving it some steam.
Love
MAX
To the extended Bell family
FUtE - I appreciate you taking the time to stop digging ditches to address my grateful engagement with political ideology! :)
I couldn't agree more with the idea that social reform for women has been around for longer than the word 'feminism'.
I first discovered the concepts of social reform for women in Mary Wollstonecraft's 'A Vindication of the Rights of Woman', a set text in Politics 101 at Uni. And to be honest, Nan's piece of writing holds a lot of Wollstonecraft and her ideas of Utility. Wollstonecraft (b1759) is a remarkably practical woman, and her ideas are still around now in the fight for non-gendered toys and the backlash against the Disney Princesses - when it comes to stoicism, Wollstonecraft was right there. Wollstonecraft's daughter was Mary Shelley, who wrote Frankenstein - arguably the creation myth of the age of science. Two great thinkers, and two of my personal heroes.
Christine de Pizan (b1363) is another marvelous learned lady who argues against the inexplicable discrimination of gender. Women asking the right questions about discriminatory social structures have been around for a long time.
Privileged Western White Lady Feminism is definitely not applicable to many of the women in the world - and your illustration of the Masai women is still utterly relevant (as Romeo would attest!) This year I read two books by non-Western commentators of social reform for women
around the world and they were very sobering experiences.
For example, 'Sex and the Citadel: Intimate life in a changing Arab World' by Shereen El Feki is a master class in teaching that women need different things from their social reform. It illustrated that what is conservative feminism in the West is radical feminism elsewhere: she discusses how Western pornography can be an unlikely ambassador for encouraging men to work to end Female Genital Mutilation!
Then there is 'Unnatural Selection: Choosing boys over girls, and the consequences of a world full of men' by Mara Hvistendahl, which is the history of sex selective abortion using ultrasound and the 60 million missing women in Asia that is resulting in the trafficking of huge populations of women and tens of millions of permanently single men. Science used in a sexist way compounds sexism exponentially to numbers that are terrifying. None of this can be addressed by Western White Lady Feminism, but by the social reform movement of that country and culture.
So yes, while every generation has its battles, usually they can rely on the battles won by their elders to help them along.
Lots of love
To a Brontë uncle
Uncle Chicken Farmer, I thought you may enjoy this collection of emails - the first time to my knowledge that the Bells have openly discussed politics on a mass email.
Bless FUtE for actually engaging with me in this, shrieks of silence from everyone else :)
FUtE
To the extended Bell family
Max I defer to your well founded and extensive historical knowledge of the major figures in the process. Radio National had a very interesting piece on Mary Shelley some months ago as an adjunct to the stuff they were doing on the Age of Wonder. It must have been a wonderful thing to be wealthy enough to be able to gain and education and have the time to engage in the rise of science. As the alternative was Parliament live then it made easy listening. Well done
MAX
To FUtE
*wink* Thanks Uncle Paul for your delightfully leading comments and kind words about my education.
I can't think for a moment who it is the person who influenced me to keep reading, keep learning and always try topics outside my last area of interest. Oh yeah, that would be you ... :)
As you would know from the talk, Mary Shelley had extraordinary parents in Wollstonecraft and Godwin, and amazing peers in Shelley and Bryon - all that practical philosophy and art in one place.
Education is really such a wonderful thing if you are paying attention and learn to keep going, and if you have good people around you that encourage you to find out more.
Thank you for being one of those people :) And your wife also, who is referenced here in my companion piece to the Wollstonecraft piece.
To the extended Bell family
Mum and Godmother have been good enough to preserve and share Nan's thoughts on political and social reform.
I am grateful that they did this because it allowed me to see that the women who have inspired me in life have always been the soul of the age that resulted in my own social and political environment.
So I thought I would share the intersections of Nan's thoughts with the thinking of the women of my generation who are intent on social and political reform.
Women's Liberation: What is it?GODMOTHER
To me
:-)
MAX
To Godmother
*hugs* thanks, it was REALLY nice to read how clear things were for women back in the day - it is very encouraging for me, trying to be as clear today about equality :)
FUtE
To the extended Bell family
Hi Max
I was up at the farm and unable to successfully respond to this. I also tried to blog on insanelysociable but at the point at which they asked me to start creating a profile I got to the "... fuck this I have got to much to do and this screen is too small and my eyes are ... etc etc ... but I tried so that is good Huh? Mind you I was digging ditches so anything was preferable.
Very interesting to see Mum in action from years ago. Makes you realise how capable she was/is so a good illustration of why one needs to engage with the issues of the day and stay engaged. The psychological and philosophical benefits on their own are worth it and the physical ones tend to follow.
I think I would disagree with one contention and that is that feminism was beginning with Mum's generation. I suspect it was a generation or two prior to that that formal feminism was kicking in (Emily Pankhurst etc). I suspect that Mum's feminism really reflects "practical feminism" rather than ideological feminism at a time when a significant proportion of the population had experience of 2 world wars and the Great Depression. They were pretty tough and very pragmatic and you see that in Mum's response. Their ideological world was constrained to some degree by the contingencies of making a living. Their opposition the "feminism", as feminists of my wife and my generation experienced, was probably because they saw our feminism as being a very privileged form of feminism.
When I was in Swaziland, in the mid 80's, I saw in TIME magazine (September 1985) an article on the 3rd UN Conference on Women in Nairobi. The group shot had a large number of western women with all the trappings of privilege in the way of cameras etc (sorry kids mobiles, laptops and tablets didn't exist then so they were all looking at the photographer and not the palm of their hands!). In the foreground where two Maasai women sitting very formally. The article was asking what the women wanted. The majority wanted rights of equality and political representation whilst the Maasai women wanted access to clean water. Quite sobering and a stark contrast. I was acutely aware of this need because I was seeing it all around me where I was living and it gave some perspective to the overall agenda.
I think Mum's generation were very concerned with efficiencies. They had large families and relatively lower level social safety nets. They had a great deal of pride and stoicism was expected. They got on with it and hoped they could cope. Mum told me the other day that she thought she used to get depressed but "..there was nothing you could do about it" I suspect my generation of feminists were simply seen as a little self-indulgent.
I suspect that this is always going to be the case as each new generation engages with the issues. So well done for giving it some steam.
Love
MAX
To the extended Bell family
FUtE - I appreciate you taking the time to stop digging ditches to address my grateful engagement with political ideology! :)
I couldn't agree more with the idea that social reform for women has been around for longer than the word 'feminism'.
I first discovered the concepts of social reform for women in Mary Wollstonecraft's 'A Vindication of the Rights of Woman', a set text in Politics 101 at Uni. And to be honest, Nan's piece of writing holds a lot of Wollstonecraft and her ideas of Utility. Wollstonecraft (b1759) is a remarkably practical woman, and her ideas are still around now in the fight for non-gendered toys and the backlash against the Disney Princesses - when it comes to stoicism, Wollstonecraft was right there. Wollstonecraft's daughter was Mary Shelley, who wrote Frankenstein - arguably the creation myth of the age of science. Two great thinkers, and two of my personal heroes.
Christine de Pizan (b1363) is another marvelous learned lady who argues against the inexplicable discrimination of gender. Women asking the right questions about discriminatory social structures have been around for a long time.
Privileged Western White Lady Feminism is definitely not applicable to many of the women in the world - and your illustration of the Masai women is still utterly relevant (as Romeo would attest!) This year I read two books by non-Western commentators of social reform for women
around the world and they were very sobering experiences.
For example, 'Sex and the Citadel: Intimate life in a changing Arab World' by Shereen El Feki is a master class in teaching that women need different things from their social reform. It illustrated that what is conservative feminism in the West is radical feminism elsewhere: she discusses how Western pornography can be an unlikely ambassador for encouraging men to work to end Female Genital Mutilation!
Then there is 'Unnatural Selection: Choosing boys over girls, and the consequences of a world full of men' by Mara Hvistendahl, which is the history of sex selective abortion using ultrasound and the 60 million missing women in Asia that is resulting in the trafficking of huge populations of women and tens of millions of permanently single men. Science used in a sexist way compounds sexism exponentially to numbers that are terrifying. None of this can be addressed by Western White Lady Feminism, but by the social reform movement of that country and culture.
So yes, while every generation has its battles, usually they can rely on the battles won by their elders to help them along.
Lots of love
Wollstonecraft Summary
Other books about social reform for womenMAX
To a Brontë uncle
Uncle Chicken Farmer, I thought you may enjoy this collection of emails - the first time to my knowledge that the Bells have openly discussed politics on a mass email.
Bless FUtE for actually engaging with me in this, shrieks of silence from everyone else :)
FUtE
To the extended Bell family
Max I defer to your well founded and extensive historical knowledge of the major figures in the process. Radio National had a very interesting piece on Mary Shelley some months ago as an adjunct to the stuff they were doing on the Age of Wonder. It must have been a wonderful thing to be wealthy enough to be able to gain and education and have the time to engage in the rise of science. As the alternative was Parliament live then it made easy listening. Well done
MAX
To FUtE
*wink* Thanks Uncle Paul for your delightfully leading comments and kind words about my education.
I can't think for a moment who it is the person who influenced me to keep reading, keep learning and always try topics outside my last area of interest. Oh yeah, that would be you ... :)
As you would know from the talk, Mary Shelley had extraordinary parents in Wollstonecraft and Godwin, and amazing peers in Shelley and Bryon - all that practical philosophy and art in one place.
Education is really such a wonderful thing if you are paying attention and learn to keep going, and if you have good people around you that encourage you to find out more.
Thank you for being one of those people :) And your wife also, who is referenced here in my companion piece to the Wollstonecraft piece.
Thursday, December 05, 2019
5 December 2018
MAX
so, I am prowling the online sites for fun times, and this wee babbie totally crossed my path. what intrigued me was the story that all his photos told.
first photo is a nice muscle shot (if you like that kind of thing), but I am drawn to that handy rail in the shower/bath that means I can both get out of the bath safely because I am an old lady, and hold onto it during sex. very thoughtful of him.
second photo confirms that muscles are the result of hard work, and that he has hair that I like (I like spiky hair, it is known)
third photo ... he has an oven in a kitchen??? This intrigues me, this photo. Is the oven/kitchen incidental or pivotal to the photo???
it this even the same man in the fourth picture? it is just him young? after the oven picture I am unsure and discombobulated. man of mystery AND cooking facilities.
blessed be the online perving platforms …
my profile is beautifully written and entertaining, and I say I am a writer.
sometimes, the menz think they have a fighting chance with me in my area of expertise.
fam, I present, the man out of his depth …
CAS
That's my girl!
I look forward to living vicariously through you 😉
I found this one a little unnerving … Could be because the thought of online dating atm makes me want to vomit in my mouth a little … ?!
MAX
correct response - I am looking only. Cannot stomach menz at the moment xx
when dudes try to keep up, but I can see them
so, I am prowling the online sites for fun times, and this wee babbie totally crossed my path. what intrigued me was the story that all his photos told.
first photo is a nice muscle shot (if you like that kind of thing), but I am drawn to that handy rail in the shower/bath that means I can both get out of the bath safely because I am an old lady, and hold onto it during sex. very thoughtful of him.
second photo confirms that muscles are the result of hard work, and that he has hair that I like (I like spiky hair, it is known)
third photo ... he has an oven in a kitchen??? This intrigues me, this photo. Is the oven/kitchen incidental or pivotal to the photo???
it this even the same man in the fourth picture? it is just him young? after the oven picture I am unsure and discombobulated. man of mystery AND cooking facilities.
blessed be the online perving platforms …
my profile is beautifully written and entertaining, and I say I am a writer.
sometimes, the menz think they have a fighting chance with me in my area of expertise.
fam, I present, the man out of his depth …
CAS
That's my girl!
I look forward to living vicariously through you 😉
I found this one a little unnerving … Could be because the thought of online dating atm makes me want to vomit in my mouth a little … ?!
MAX
correct response - I am looking only. Cannot stomach menz at the moment xx
when dudes try to keep up, but I can see them
Wednesday, December 04, 2019
4 December 2013
MAX
so, not tonight then :(
KIM
I'm not sure if there was any text to that besides the subject?
But are you still available for this evening? What's all this nonsense about confirmation and notice. I said yes and put you in my calendar. That's basically biblical!
I booked a table for two at 353 for 1800 this evening. Does that sound alright? It looks like an interesting place and I need to make tracks into Wembley tonight for a leaving the country party for a friend.
MAX
Alas, you did not tell me you had said yes and put me in your calendar :) I'm good, but I am not the NSA I'm afraid. Are we getting some Vulcan mind-meld for the ruling of the universe gig or will we just have an army of Personal Assistants with their own Personal Assistants?
KIM
I said yes in the email - therefore it was a yes and went into my calendar.
I think Vulcan mind-melding will be an important tool to take advantage of but many layers of PA-caption will also be required. Both for organisational purposes, excuse purposes and protection of course.
MAX
*wail* but I don't have an email in reply to mine! It's either in the intertubes or in my spam because I definitely got no reply in my inbox
:(
http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/the-daily-show/videos/3482/title/senator-stevens-internet-series-tubes
Nevermind, I have persuaded my brother to take the babysitting gig (not too hard, we both love our cousins) and I will be at 353 Cambridge at 6pm for dinner :)
KIM
See below, highlighted text :P You definitely need a PA. Glad you could re-arrange the babysitting :)
MAX
cool, I didn't miss an email.
So, I am guessing you don't have a PA :) I am, of course, an Executive Assistant of ten years experience.
You did not reply to my email, therefore there was no confirmation to me.
Your previous email to me proposing days I could pick from was not a confirmation to my email saying which would suit me since, you know, it had been sent before my response :)
*wink* take it from the professional PA, a quick 'Wednesday it is, I'll confirm details closer to the time' was all the confirmation needed to close the deal.
Next time we'll do better, we have to get our A Game up for galaxy-wide domination.
KIM
Roger roger. I took yours as a confirmation. But I will know better for next time. Unfortunately no PA for me, they don't like provided them for those about to leave the company... Maybe I should just get a PA so I don't have to learn to do better prior to universal domination.
MAX
hehehe.
I would advocate making sure you understand your PA's job so that if they don't do it right, you will know it before the shit hits the fan :)
Nothing worse for an aspiring dictator than watching someone in power get deposed because they didn't know what their minions were doing … I always wonder how they got into power in the first place if they didn't work up through the roles that were supporting them. Classic story of managers who had never actually managed anything.
No, wiser to be better at your minions' jobs than the minion, so the terror of your eye falling across them is real and ever-present ...
I just cannot wait to be King ...
KIM
Good point. I'll be sure to master many roles. Though this could put a slight delay on the move to dictatorship if I need to spend years mastering other skills...
MAX
*cough* you do not need to be master of all, just be better than MINIONS that work for you.
you will, of course, have actual MASTERS to oversee operations that you have no interest in. And their heads will roll if their minions misbehave. They should not get the job unless they are better than their minions.
but for one's own operations, one should definitely be better than the minions. Not that being better than the minions is hard for ones such as us *wink*
KIM
Ah, I like that thinking. Duly noted, my Supreme Overlord of Earth
MAX
Well, you know, I have to keep making sure I am head of the pack … if I am not at the head of the pack, my life is minionless ...
BOOM!
KIM
Wow...
MAX
Yes :) It's a gift.
KIM
I finally understand how you became a writer.
MAX
People pleaded with me to pick on strangers, not on them as long suffering friends and family.
I did it to save people ...
KIM
Hahaha. But picking on friends and family is so much more fun!
MAX
But, there are a LOT more strangers in the world than friends and family.
Therefore, once I am in the public sphere, exponentially more fun to be plundered
You are plunder from the public sphere ...
KIM
Do they still count as strangers once you are all powerful dictator of them?
MAX
Now there is a question.
I can imagine I would be a less murderous Shahryar, a new person brought to eat a meal with me each lunchtime and they must laugh gaily at my jokes and tell me marvelous stories so as to become friends with me, and be spared the pitilessness of being a stranger to the Supreme Dictator …
MAX
let me just rearrange some things
sorry, sorry, I just went outside to check my texts (I don't get coverage in the office) and I hadn't heard from you!
I was asked to do some babysitting of my cousins and I said yes and I just have to make sure my brother can do it ...
:)
MAX
not cross, just in the middle of organising things, as I know you are ...
... and I am always paranoid that I miss emails because sometimes I open them on my phone and then miss them when on the computer :(
I was looking forward to seeing you and having a chat, but I knew you had things to organise, so I was going to let you do your thing.
I have things to do also that would not be disrupted by getting another night free, so I made sure I was gliding along with other things (playwriting) to do in case you had to cancel.
:)
KIM
Fair enough.
You have an interesting way of writing emails, utilising the subject line as you do.
I have a great 'Flushed' related story I probably shouldn't share with you tonight!
MAX
RE: re: FWD: [restricted] re: THIS is HILLLLARIOUS! Don't stop it now
Ah, in the good old days before gmail needed similar subject lines to group emails, my friends and I had elaborate and delightful games with our subjects - entire weeks of emails would be composed under subjects that were poems when collected together, or runs of puns, or completely incorrect indications of contents or elaborate private jokes.
:)
I like to start the email in the subject because I like it to be personal as soon as you see the snippet on your phone or on the computer ...
KIM
Hmmm, I may well have deleted emails with subject lines such as this if I were to receive them unsolicited or unexpected. Though those games do sound fun.
MAX
dear dove kim you have won 35 OOO OOO OOO in Euro MILLIONS
I agree :)
so, not tonight then :(
KIM
I'm not sure if there was any text to that besides the subject?
But are you still available for this evening? What's all this nonsense about confirmation and notice. I said yes and put you in my calendar. That's basically biblical!
I booked a table for two at 353 for 1800 this evening. Does that sound alright? It looks like an interesting place and I need to make tracks into Wembley tonight for a leaving the country party for a friend.
MAX
Alas, you did not tell me you had said yes and put me in your calendar :) I'm good, but I am not the NSA I'm afraid. Are we getting some Vulcan mind-meld for the ruling of the universe gig or will we just have an army of Personal Assistants with their own Personal Assistants?
KIM
I said yes in the email - therefore it was a yes and went into my calendar.
I think Vulcan mind-melding will be an important tool to take advantage of but many layers of PA-caption will also be required. Both for organisational purposes, excuse purposes and protection of course.
MAX
*wail* but I don't have an email in reply to mine! It's either in the intertubes or in my spam because I definitely got no reply in my inbox
:(
http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/the-daily-show/videos/3482/title/senator-stevens-internet-series-tubes
Nevermind, I have persuaded my brother to take the babysitting gig (not too hard, we both love our cousins) and I will be at 353 Cambridge at 6pm for dinner :)
KIM
See below, highlighted text :P You definitely need a PA. Glad you could re-arrange the babysitting :)
MAX
cool, I didn't miss an email.
So, I am guessing you don't have a PA :) I am, of course, an Executive Assistant of ten years experience.
You did not reply to my email, therefore there was no confirmation to me.
Your previous email to me proposing days I could pick from was not a confirmation to my email saying which would suit me since, you know, it had been sent before my response :)
*wink* take it from the professional PA, a quick 'Wednesday it is, I'll confirm details closer to the time' was all the confirmation needed to close the deal.
Next time we'll do better, we have to get our A Game up for galaxy-wide domination.
KIM
Roger roger. I took yours as a confirmation. But I will know better for next time. Unfortunately no PA for me, they don't like provided them for those about to leave the company... Maybe I should just get a PA so I don't have to learn to do better prior to universal domination.
MAX
hehehe.
I would advocate making sure you understand your PA's job so that if they don't do it right, you will know it before the shit hits the fan :)
Nothing worse for an aspiring dictator than watching someone in power get deposed because they didn't know what their minions were doing … I always wonder how they got into power in the first place if they didn't work up through the roles that were supporting them. Classic story of managers who had never actually managed anything.
No, wiser to be better at your minions' jobs than the minion, so the terror of your eye falling across them is real and ever-present ...
I just cannot wait to be King ...
KIM
Good point. I'll be sure to master many roles. Though this could put a slight delay on the move to dictatorship if I need to spend years mastering other skills...
MAX
*cough* you do not need to be master of all, just be better than MINIONS that work for you.
you will, of course, have actual MASTERS to oversee operations that you have no interest in. And their heads will roll if their minions misbehave. They should not get the job unless they are better than their minions.
but for one's own operations, one should definitely be better than the minions. Not that being better than the minions is hard for ones such as us *wink*
KIM
Ah, I like that thinking. Duly noted, my Supreme Overlord of Earth
MAX
Well, you know, I have to keep making sure I am head of the pack … if I am not at the head of the pack, my life is minionless ...
BOOM!
KIM
Wow...
MAX
Yes :) It's a gift.
KIM
I finally understand how you became a writer.
MAX
People pleaded with me to pick on strangers, not on them as long suffering friends and family.
I did it to save people ...
KIM
Hahaha. But picking on friends and family is so much more fun!
MAX
But, there are a LOT more strangers in the world than friends and family.
Therefore, once I am in the public sphere, exponentially more fun to be plundered
You are plunder from the public sphere ...
KIM
Do they still count as strangers once you are all powerful dictator of them?
MAX
Now there is a question.
I can imagine I would be a less murderous Shahryar, a new person brought to eat a meal with me each lunchtime and they must laugh gaily at my jokes and tell me marvelous stories so as to become friends with me, and be spared the pitilessness of being a stranger to the Supreme Dictator …
MAX
let me just rearrange some things
sorry, sorry, I just went outside to check my texts (I don't get coverage in the office) and I hadn't heard from you!
I was asked to do some babysitting of my cousins and I said yes and I just have to make sure my brother can do it ...
:)
MAX
not cross, just in the middle of organising things, as I know you are ...
... and I am always paranoid that I miss emails because sometimes I open them on my phone and then miss them when on the computer :(
I was looking forward to seeing you and having a chat, but I knew you had things to organise, so I was going to let you do your thing.
I have things to do also that would not be disrupted by getting another night free, so I made sure I was gliding along with other things (playwriting) to do in case you had to cancel.
:)
KIM
Fair enough.
You have an interesting way of writing emails, utilising the subject line as you do.
I have a great 'Flushed' related story I probably shouldn't share with you tonight!
MAX
RE: re: FWD: [restricted] re: THIS is HILLLLARIOUS! Don't stop it now
Ah, in the good old days before gmail needed similar subject lines to group emails, my friends and I had elaborate and delightful games with our subjects - entire weeks of emails would be composed under subjects that were poems when collected together, or runs of puns, or completely incorrect indications of contents or elaborate private jokes.
:)
I like to start the email in the subject because I like it to be personal as soon as you see the snippet on your phone or on the computer ...
KIM
Hmmm, I may well have deleted emails with subject lines such as this if I were to receive them unsolicited or unexpected. Though those games do sound fun.
MAX
dear dove kim you have won 35 OOO OOO OOO in Euro MILLIONS
I agree :)
4 December 2004
There are a few criteria that make a party the ultimate experience for me –
#1 It should be in the house you are staying in, yet not be your house so you can avoid most of the cleaning.
#2 There should be lots and lots of good looking available men.
#3 There should be limited competition for the attention of aforementioned men.
#4 You should be the most interesting person there.
Judging on these four criteria alone I went to a party that got a perfect score.
Tom has a friend, Elaine, in Leeds and Elaine invited her up for her Christmas party and invited her to bring a friend. So we spent forty quid and three hours getting to the party. We got into town at about 12 and looked around for a while before we went to Elaine's house.
Leeds has been called the London of the North and I think I will declare it Max's Ultimate City. The shopping precinct is a gob-smacking six city blocks that included huge covered markets and stunning malls that were more beautiful than anything I saw in Paris. There was every shop imaginable, huge outlets for the really very expensive shops like Harvey Nichols and specialty shops that made me gibber with lust. As a barely reformed shopaholic, I was walking through the ultimate gauntlet of temptation. The shops had me so hypnotized I didn't notice a single hot Northern guy – and THAT is a miracle.
When I simply couldn't cope with another moment in shopping heaven with no money, we left for Elaine's house. We arrived, settled into our own room and waited for the party to come to us.
Criteria #1 score = 10
The guests had been invited from three pools of people – Elaine's gym, Diane's police co-workers, Kirsty's customer service job that included trainee firemen and marines. To Max's utter delight the door kept admitting groups of tall, young, cute and fantastically fit men into the living room. I got ogling overload. I grinned like the cat that got the cream. I decided that I simply had to meet EVERY ... SINGLE ... ONE of those lovely, LOVELY men. Thirty single men looking for a good time. Life is indeed very hard sometimes.
Criteria #2 score = 10
There were about six other women in at the party. All of them there with their boyfriends. Tom drank so much she can't remember past 10 o'clock. I was the only single, upright female there. I had a big job and I was prepared to step up to the plate.
Criteria #3 score = 10
Every other girl there was a typical Northern girl – tall, straight blond hair, legs up to her ears, skirt barely big enough to be a belt, lots of cleavage and well known socially to the guys. Your correspondent? Short, covered from head to toe in clothes, dark curly hair. SEXY ACCENT. They don't get many Australians up there and I was a complete unknown. I was the CENTER of all eyes at all times. I could feel the crowd move when I did, I could hear the murmurs of 'who is that?' as I made my way to the kitchen for my water and back. It was like being in Turkey again. Except I was surrounded by Scottish, Irish and Northern accented hulks of manhood raring for a go at the bubbly Australian.
Criteria #4 score = 10
The happenings.
I spotted my man within twenty minutes. Blue eyes, brown hair, cheeky grin, broad shoulders, narrow hips, bum to die for – the spitting image of FSO. Within about 5 minutes of talking to him I was getting seriously rubbed up against, me grinning like a maniac, his friends cheering us on as soon as they discovered I was three years his elder and I liked to get my hands up the shirts of pretty boys. I think we could have gotten down and dirty on the floor and they would have just stood around, drinking, suggesting moves. It was hilarious. He wriggled, he flirted, he pouted when I left to get a drink, he got jealous when I talked to other men, he charged through the crowd to collect me from conversations so he could purr in my ear.
He left, thank god, because he got bored with me and I was absolved of having to snog him in front of everyone AND I got to talk to all the other gorgeous men.
So I spent lovely moments with a towering blue eyed and black haired Irishman named Jack who hunched over his height and enormous chest to purr in my ear that I was a 'bubbly mad bitch' and that he had been looking for a bubbly girl all night. Only his accent allowed him to get away with that comment. And that fantastic set of shoulders. And that spectacular bum almost at my eye level. *purr*
I talked serious history talk with another English history graduate who was a very sexy man with green eyes and gorgeous dark skin. I talked surfing with a Welshman with a fantastic chest filling out the stylish t-shirt. I talked cricket with a shaven head Northern bruiser built like a brick shithouse who knew all about the WACA as soon as I mentioned where I was from. I talked guns with the two trainee marines with their huge blues eyes and unique take on just how crudely you can talk to a girl. And at 2pm I was talking about a writers' responsibilities to their readers to experience EVERYTHING with a blond Geordie fireman who did a 'Max' to me and asked just the right questions to keep me talking about myself for about an hour.
By the end of the night I was beginning to feel a little guilty that I was having ALL the fun. It almost felt like it was a party thrown just for me. Elaine declared I was her favourite guest. I hadn't spilt a drink and I had taken on the mammoth task of entertaining thirty lusty lads and not a single one felt he hadn't had a good go at trying to score with me. What can I say? I am just the perfect guest!
So I was asleep by 3, dreaming the contented sleep of a girl that had just attended the most perfect party possible. And got out of it without a single stain on my pristine reputation as a good girl. Sometimes fun can be just illegal.
#1 It should be in the house you are staying in, yet not be your house so you can avoid most of the cleaning.
#2 There should be lots and lots of good looking available men.
#3 There should be limited competition for the attention of aforementioned men.
#4 You should be the most interesting person there.
Judging on these four criteria alone I went to a party that got a perfect score.
Tom has a friend, Elaine, in Leeds and Elaine invited her up for her Christmas party and invited her to bring a friend. So we spent forty quid and three hours getting to the party. We got into town at about 12 and looked around for a while before we went to Elaine's house.
Leeds has been called the London of the North and I think I will declare it Max's Ultimate City. The shopping precinct is a gob-smacking six city blocks that included huge covered markets and stunning malls that were more beautiful than anything I saw in Paris. There was every shop imaginable, huge outlets for the really very expensive shops like Harvey Nichols and specialty shops that made me gibber with lust. As a barely reformed shopaholic, I was walking through the ultimate gauntlet of temptation. The shops had me so hypnotized I didn't notice a single hot Northern guy – and THAT is a miracle.
When I simply couldn't cope with another moment in shopping heaven with no money, we left for Elaine's house. We arrived, settled into our own room and waited for the party to come to us.
Criteria #1 score = 10
The guests had been invited from three pools of people – Elaine's gym, Diane's police co-workers, Kirsty's customer service job that included trainee firemen and marines. To Max's utter delight the door kept admitting groups of tall, young, cute and fantastically fit men into the living room. I got ogling overload. I grinned like the cat that got the cream. I decided that I simply had to meet EVERY ... SINGLE ... ONE of those lovely, LOVELY men. Thirty single men looking for a good time. Life is indeed very hard sometimes.
Criteria #2 score = 10
There were about six other women in at the party. All of them there with their boyfriends. Tom drank so much she can't remember past 10 o'clock. I was the only single, upright female there. I had a big job and I was prepared to step up to the plate.
Criteria #3 score = 10
Every other girl there was a typical Northern girl – tall, straight blond hair, legs up to her ears, skirt barely big enough to be a belt, lots of cleavage and well known socially to the guys. Your correspondent? Short, covered from head to toe in clothes, dark curly hair. SEXY ACCENT. They don't get many Australians up there and I was a complete unknown. I was the CENTER of all eyes at all times. I could feel the crowd move when I did, I could hear the murmurs of 'who is that?' as I made my way to the kitchen for my water and back. It was like being in Turkey again. Except I was surrounded by Scottish, Irish and Northern accented hulks of manhood raring for a go at the bubbly Australian.
Criteria #4 score = 10
The happenings.
I spotted my man within twenty minutes. Blue eyes, brown hair, cheeky grin, broad shoulders, narrow hips, bum to die for – the spitting image of FSO. Within about 5 minutes of talking to him I was getting seriously rubbed up against, me grinning like a maniac, his friends cheering us on as soon as they discovered I was three years his elder and I liked to get my hands up the shirts of pretty boys. I think we could have gotten down and dirty on the floor and they would have just stood around, drinking, suggesting moves. It was hilarious. He wriggled, he flirted, he pouted when I left to get a drink, he got jealous when I talked to other men, he charged through the crowd to collect me from conversations so he could purr in my ear.
He left, thank god, because he got bored with me and I was absolved of having to snog him in front of everyone AND I got to talk to all the other gorgeous men.
So I spent lovely moments with a towering blue eyed and black haired Irishman named Jack who hunched over his height and enormous chest to purr in my ear that I was a 'bubbly mad bitch' and that he had been looking for a bubbly girl all night. Only his accent allowed him to get away with that comment. And that fantastic set of shoulders. And that spectacular bum almost at my eye level. *purr*
I talked serious history talk with another English history graduate who was a very sexy man with green eyes and gorgeous dark skin. I talked surfing with a Welshman with a fantastic chest filling out the stylish t-shirt. I talked cricket with a shaven head Northern bruiser built like a brick shithouse who knew all about the WACA as soon as I mentioned where I was from. I talked guns with the two trainee marines with their huge blues eyes and unique take on just how crudely you can talk to a girl. And at 2pm I was talking about a writers' responsibilities to their readers to experience EVERYTHING with a blond Geordie fireman who did a 'Max' to me and asked just the right questions to keep me talking about myself for about an hour.
By the end of the night I was beginning to feel a little guilty that I was having ALL the fun. It almost felt like it was a party thrown just for me. Elaine declared I was her favourite guest. I hadn't spilt a drink and I had taken on the mammoth task of entertaining thirty lusty lads and not a single one felt he hadn't had a good go at trying to score with me. What can I say? I am just the perfect guest!
So I was asleep by 3, dreaming the contented sleep of a girl that had just attended the most perfect party possible. And got out of it without a single stain on my pristine reputation as a good girl. Sometimes fun can be just illegal.
Sunday, December 01, 2019
1 December 2012
Max will be putting up a Christmas tree and changing the lyrics to Christmas songs with a Christmas Angel and two Christmas Elves
Archie: You have got to be kidding. There are far more important things in December before Christmas. The tree should really only go up the weekend before Christmas. And songs are restricted to Christmas morning only!
Rhys: Bah humbug! I have been looking forward to putting up my Christmas tree for the last month. I can't think of a better way to spend my day than with two best friends a baby and some new Xmas decorations :). So for me, this is an important thing to do in December :)
Dirk: The weekend before xmas?!?!?!? That's crazy!!! After all that work you want it to be up for only 1 week? Our tradition is December 1st as well :)
Jack: Yes tree day for husband and me today, and tree day for my family tomorrow!. So exciting to have a baby to do it all with Rhys
Max I hope you are supplying some christmas baking!
Max: Elbow baked the chocolate biscuits for morning tea before the tree went up, cooked to the inexplicably disapproving Archie's recipe, and my gorgeous goddaughter was utterly charming and helped with the baubles. A good day had by all
Archie: Sorry girls, I wasn't being rude about your christmas plans as I love the family traditions that come out during the festive season. It was a comment directed at Max that Christmas can't start until my birthday's come and gone, hence the reference to the weekend before Christmas. My apologies that it wasn't taking in the light-hearted way it was intended
Max: Festivities-Jams are so AWKWARD! Especially for kids who have their birthdays overshadowed by Christmas. Jay and Australia Day have a long-standing too-close relationship, so the Festival of Jay was born. I almost always lose my birthday to the Perth Big Day Out and must counter with the Carnival of Max. And even non-overshadowed birthdays are turned into the CarniDirk ..? :) And if I remember rightly, there are some Birthday-Jams in Rhys's family too aren't there? And Jack has always disapproved of her Birthday Season in Australia as it does not allow watermelon at the party ..? God, someone stop me, I am on a roll …
Rhys: Thanks Archie :). I love lead up to birthdays. As for Jay's birthday, well husband and I threw a really big party for her three years ago invited all our friends and got married on that day. As for Max's birthday well that is the day I knew I was pregnant with my daughter (sorry Max you are by default going to have to share the day with her) All I can say is thank goodness I was born on the 10 September and not a day later
Max: Hahaha, it is my pleasure to share my Thirtieth Birthday with the sure knowledge of your daughter's imminent arrival! I should also note that the marvellous cousins were kind enough to do what you did for Jay, Rhys, and host my Birthday Party one year at their wedding. AND a Ballroom Dancer took me for a spin on the dancefloor at the reception, which made my night! :) Just like kids, we learn to share ALL our things as we get older, including birthdays
Archie: You have got to be kidding. There are far more important things in December before Christmas. The tree should really only go up the weekend before Christmas. And songs are restricted to Christmas morning only!
Rhys: Bah humbug! I have been looking forward to putting up my Christmas tree for the last month. I can't think of a better way to spend my day than with two best friends a baby and some new Xmas decorations :). So for me, this is an important thing to do in December :)
Dirk: The weekend before xmas?!?!?!? That's crazy!!! After all that work you want it to be up for only 1 week? Our tradition is December 1st as well :)
Jack: Yes tree day for husband and me today, and tree day for my family tomorrow!. So exciting to have a baby to do it all with Rhys
Max I hope you are supplying some christmas baking!
Max: Elbow baked the chocolate biscuits for morning tea before the tree went up, cooked to the inexplicably disapproving Archie's recipe, and my gorgeous goddaughter was utterly charming and helped with the baubles. A good day had by all
Archie: Sorry girls, I wasn't being rude about your christmas plans as I love the family traditions that come out during the festive season. It was a comment directed at Max that Christmas can't start until my birthday's come and gone, hence the reference to the weekend before Christmas. My apologies that it wasn't taking in the light-hearted way it was intended
Max: Festivities-Jams are so AWKWARD! Especially for kids who have their birthdays overshadowed by Christmas. Jay and Australia Day have a long-standing too-close relationship, so the Festival of Jay was born. I almost always lose my birthday to the Perth Big Day Out and must counter with the Carnival of Max. And even non-overshadowed birthdays are turned into the CarniDirk ..? :) And if I remember rightly, there are some Birthday-Jams in Rhys's family too aren't there? And Jack has always disapproved of her Birthday Season in Australia as it does not allow watermelon at the party ..? God, someone stop me, I am on a roll …
Rhys: Thanks Archie :). I love lead up to birthdays. As for Jay's birthday, well husband and I threw a really big party for her three years ago invited all our friends and got married on that day. As for Max's birthday well that is the day I knew I was pregnant with my daughter (sorry Max you are by default going to have to share the day with her) All I can say is thank goodness I was born on the 10 September and not a day later
Max: Hahaha, it is my pleasure to share my Thirtieth Birthday with the sure knowledge of your daughter's imminent arrival! I should also note that the marvellous cousins were kind enough to do what you did for Jay, Rhys, and host my Birthday Party one year at their wedding. AND a Ballroom Dancer took me for a spin on the dancefloor at the reception, which made my night! :) Just like kids, we learn to share ALL our things as we get older, including birthdays
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